Dear Coach,
Hello my nam is Jimmy. I live in Piscataway, NJ. I was Enquiring about the backed-up QB position on your foosball team that u recently held an open practice fore. I think i am very qualifried for the position. I am line leader in my class, which demonstrates that i can lead people. I am also hall monitor, so i know what disclipline means. I can do a great "TIMMY" impression from Southpark, if that is relavent, i thnk so. I sometimes talk to myself, that shows i can get along with other people, that's huge in foosball, right? Mrs. Lippy just gave me a star because i didn't have any seisure's and fall end break anything today, it's that great, that also shows that i am very dependable. I can throw a foosball very well too. My Special Ed teacher thinks i got a great arm when its knot folded across my chest. If i don't try to bite my ear, i have good motion and can come within several feet of my target, which means i can be accurait and will tried very hard to do good for your team. I could probably be first string as well, you guy know is very-very bad. Pleasse keep me in mind, and i will begin to metally prepare myself to be youre nect quarterbag. Gota go now, my mommy packed me a pudding cup and paint chips for lunch today. I lov Wassou and your foosball team.
BTW- tough luck against USC last week, i thought we could pull that one out....
I lov Washngton Ssttate Football,
Jimmy
(Please hum "Put me in coach" as you read this lettr, thanks)
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Saturday, October 18, 2008
on Saturday CFB
Ok, you wanted'um, you got'um....
Straight Lines
GT-2
Kansas+21(BTP)
Ole Miss+12
PSU-24
Miss St. 7.5
VT+3
Texas -4 (BIG PLAY ON THIS GAME, VEGAS WHIFFED ON THIS ONE...IMO) and a special thank you the "john q. public" for crushing Mizzou and driving this line down
Air Force-3.5
Teasers (7Pt.)
Kansas+27
Ole Miss +19
VT+ 10
Teaser (14pt.)
MSU +17.5
Virginia +18
Texas+10
Ole Miss +26
Parlay
Texas-4
Ole Miss +12
O/U
MIAMI/DUKE OVER 42
Good luck to all of you, hoping for a BIG DAY tommorrow!
Straight Lines
GT-2
Kansas+21(BTP)
Ole Miss+12
PSU-24
Miss St. 7.5
VT+3
Texas -4 (BIG PLAY ON THIS GAME, VEGAS WHIFFED ON THIS ONE...IMO) and a special thank you the "john q. public" for crushing Mizzou and driving this line down
Air Force-3.5
Teasers (7Pt.)
Kansas+27
Ole Miss +19
VT+ 10
Teaser (14pt.)
MSU +17.5
Virginia +18
Texas+10
Ole Miss +26
Parlay
Texas-4
Ole Miss +12
O/U
MIAMI/DUKE OVER 42
Good luck to all of you, hoping for a BIG DAY tommorrow!
Friday, October 17, 2008
On Midseason Report Cards
Good Evening all, hope all is well. Before the Goat releases his picks this weekend (after crushing the 'Pack) last night...."Thursday Night Home Dogs" are getting just stupid...anyway, I figure it's time for a little Mid-Season Report cards for some teams:
1. Alabama (A+)
Defense..Check
Running Game...Check
John P. Wilson....Check
Special Teams....Check
Smashing all comers...Check
Bottom Line: Bring on Miami and the BCS!!!!
2. Texas (B)
Running game...Check
Colt McCoy.....A trip to NY in his future
Special Teams....Check
Defense...This is "Big 12" football....NON-EXISTANT....The Oklahoma "Sooner" had 173 yards passing on the Texas Defense...and it doesn't have ARMS?!?!?!
Smashing all comers...Check (BIG ON UT THIS WEEKEND, more on that later on)
Bottom Line: Lot of football left to play
3. AUBURN (can i use a "G" here, "F" is too much credit)
Running game...HAHAHA
QB Situation....WTF?!?!?
Special "Olympic" Teams...OMG?!?!?
Defense...Dreadful a best
Getting Smashed by all comers....CHECK
Bottom Line: You fired your OC mid-season for gosh sakes...
OIL RIG FIRE = Auburn Football
4. FSU (C)
Running game....Coming around
C. Ponder...This guy IS a "box of chocolates"
Special Teams....OK
Defense....CHECK
Smashing all comers...Negative, lost to Wake Forest with 8 turnovers and 158 yds. in penalties
Bottom Line: Still not convinced we're "Back"
5. CLEMSON (F)
Running Game....Where?
C. Harper...Broken
Special Teams...More like "Special ED classes"
Defense...They have one?
Smashing all comers....I just pee'd on myself
Bottom Line: Tommy Bowden stepped down...They're season is now looking up..
6. PENN ST. (A+)
Running game....CHECK
QB....CHECK
Special Teams....CHECK
Defense....CHECK
Smashing all comers....Like WARM BUTTER
Bottom Line: Sleeper to make it to MIAMI...Not a whole lot of work left...
OSU will get smashed by this team
7. FLORIDA (B)
Running Game...Tebro is still nasty, and now has a little help
QB...NO QUESTION, he picked apart LSU while eating a ham samich...check YOUTUBE
Special Teams...CHECK
Defense...CHECK
Smashing all comers...EXCEPT OLE MISS...Bama beware
Bottom Line: May get Bama in the SEC championship game...we'll see if they belong then
8. MEECHIGAN (D)
Running Game....UH....NO
QB.....UH....NO
Special Teams....See "Toledo"
Defense....See "Toledo"
Smashing all comers...See "Toledo"
Bottom Line: "RAM ROD" might get run out of town EARLY...See "Toledo"
9. VANDY (A-)
Running game....OK
QB...SHAKY at best
Special Teams...Bright Spot
Defense...Excellent
Smashing all comers...No, but have gotten it done
Bottom Line: Cannot score beyond the 50 yard line, but with a stingy defense, may get a lot better on that...
10. Tennessee (F)
Running game....FIRE PHIL
QB.....FIRE PHIL
Special Teams....FIRE PHIL
Defense....FIRE PHIL
Smashing all comers....FIRE PHIL
Bottom Line: FIRE PHIL
Just a few...I could go on and on, but why? Anyway, enjoy the weekend ahead, I will try to get some games out there later on!
Da GOAT
1. Alabama (A+)
Defense..Check
Running Game...Check
John P. Wilson....Check
Special Teams....Check
Smashing all comers...Check
Bottom Line: Bring on Miami and the BCS!!!!
2. Texas (B)
Running game...Check
Colt McCoy.....A trip to NY in his future
Special Teams....Check
Defense...This is "Big 12" football....NON-EXISTANT....The Oklahoma "Sooner" had 173 yards passing on the Texas Defense...and it doesn't have ARMS?!?!?!
Smashing all comers...Check (BIG ON UT THIS WEEKEND, more on that later on)
Bottom Line: Lot of football left to play
3. AUBURN (can i use a "G" here, "F" is too much credit)
Running game...HAHAHA
QB Situation....WTF?!?!?
Special "Olympic" Teams...OMG?!?!?
Defense...Dreadful a best
Getting Smashed by all comers....CHECK
Bottom Line: You fired your OC mid-season for gosh sakes...
OIL RIG FIRE = Auburn Football
4. FSU (C)
Running game....Coming around
C. Ponder...This guy IS a "box of chocolates"
Special Teams....OK
Defense....CHECK
Smashing all comers...Negative, lost to Wake Forest with 8 turnovers and 158 yds. in penalties
Bottom Line: Still not convinced we're "Back"
5. CLEMSON (F)
Running Game....Where?
C. Harper...Broken
Special Teams...More like "Special ED classes"
Defense...They have one?
Smashing all comers....I just pee'd on myself
Bottom Line: Tommy Bowden stepped down...They're season is now looking up..
6. PENN ST. (A+)
Running game....CHECK
QB....CHECK
Special Teams....CHECK
Defense....CHECK
Smashing all comers....Like WARM BUTTER
Bottom Line: Sleeper to make it to MIAMI...Not a whole lot of work left...
OSU will get smashed by this team
7. FLORIDA (B)
Running Game...Tebro is still nasty, and now has a little help
QB...NO QUESTION, he picked apart LSU while eating a ham samich...check YOUTUBE
Special Teams...CHECK
Defense...CHECK
Smashing all comers...EXCEPT OLE MISS...Bama beware
Bottom Line: May get Bama in the SEC championship game...we'll see if they belong then
8. MEECHIGAN (D)
Running Game....UH....NO
QB.....UH....NO
Special Teams....See "Toledo"
Defense....See "Toledo"
Smashing all comers...See "Toledo"
Bottom Line: "RAM ROD" might get run out of town EARLY...See "Toledo"
9. VANDY (A-)
Running game....OK
QB...SHAKY at best
Special Teams...Bright Spot
Defense...Excellent
Smashing all comers...No, but have gotten it done
Bottom Line: Cannot score beyond the 50 yard line, but with a stingy defense, may get a lot better on that...
10. Tennessee (F)
Running game....FIRE PHIL
QB.....FIRE PHIL
Special Teams....FIRE PHIL
Defense....FIRE PHIL
Smashing all comers....FIRE PHIL
Bottom Line: FIRE PHIL
Just a few...I could go on and on, but why? Anyway, enjoy the weekend ahead, I will try to get some games out there later on!
Da GOAT
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Letter to Tommy Tuberville
Dear Tubbs,
You're team couldn't score with a Hooker....
Tommy Bowden and Phil Fulmer left you messages. Check your voicemail....
Signed,
Crockett
You're team couldn't score with a Hooker....
Tommy Bowden and Phil Fulmer left you messages. Check your voicemail....
Signed,
Crockett
Letter to Nick Saban
Dear JeSabansus,
You're off-week was outstanding, the team looked great....
DON'T F*&K IT UP.
Signed,
The Entire State of Alabama
You're off-week was outstanding, the team looked great....
DON'T F*&K IT UP.
Signed,
The Entire State of Alabama
Letter to Chase Daniel
Chase,
You're fat, you look like Phil Fulmer with a cannon on your shoulder. Lineman that can throw have no place at the next level. Good thing your line can block and your shotgun is 10 yards deep cause you couldn't scramble your way out of a paper sack. Shed 50, win the Heisman, and you could soon be carrying a clipboard and backing up Gus Ferrotte.
Signed,
The NFL scouts
P.S. Tell your team to "PLAY SOME DEFENSE!?!?!?!"
Da' GOAT
You're fat, you look like Phil Fulmer with a cannon on your shoulder. Lineman that can throw have no place at the next level. Good thing your line can block and your shotgun is 10 yards deep cause you couldn't scramble your way out of a paper sack. Shed 50, win the Heisman, and you could soon be carrying a clipboard and backing up Gus Ferrotte.
Signed,
The NFL scouts
P.S. Tell your team to "PLAY SOME DEFENSE!?!?!?!"
Da' GOAT
on the Red River Shootout
My assesment of the Red River Shootout.....
PLAY SOME F*%^ING DEFENSE FOR GOSH SAKES!?!?!
Mack Brown has a squad, Oklahoma warmed up with pansies....Texas has a rough road ahead of them, but if they make it....I'm headed to Miami to watch them battle the TIDE!!!
Da' GOAT
PLAY SOME F*%^ING DEFENSE FOR GOSH SAKES!?!?!
Mack Brown has a squad, Oklahoma warmed up with pansies....Texas has a rough road ahead of them, but if they make it....I'm headed to Miami to watch them battle the TIDE!!!
Da' GOAT
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Where have i been
For the 6 of you that actually follow this blog....I have a real job outside of picking games and blogging, although I wish this were it and nothing else. Been extremely busy, updating now...
Da' Goat
Da' Goat
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Letter to Dr. Lou
Dr. Lou Holtz,
Could you correctly pronunciate "Sally sells sea shells by the sea shore"?
Don't worry, i'll wait.....and get you a bib...and Mark May an umbrella.
Signed,
Da GOAT
(I have a meeting with Satan for seating reservations)
Could you correctly pronunciate "Sally sells sea shells by the sea shore"?
Don't worry, i'll wait.....and get you a bib...and Mark May an umbrella.
Signed,
Da GOAT
(I have a meeting with Satan for seating reservations)
Thursday, October 2, 2008
On the Economy and College Football
Well, the way Da GOAT sees it, the economic & political situation can be related to the college football season...
1. Fannie Mae = UGA (Both sucked to begin with and WAY overated)
2. Freddie MAC = USC (Stated as the greatest thing since sliced bread...ended up in the crapper)
3. President Bush = Dave Wanstead (flashes of brilliance, but in the end, deer in the headlights)
4. Barack Obama = Tyrone Willingham (has a great plan but a grease fire and a loss is inevitable)
5. Sarah Palin = Erin Andrews (Dumb as hell, but EASY on the eyes)
6. Joe Bidin = Bobby Petrino (As full of shit as a Christmas turkey)
7. John McCain = Joe Paterno (Both grew up with Moses, both will die in Office)
8. Wallstreet = BCS (A disaster, flirting with collapse, one wrong move and we're all screwed, both will need to be bailed out in the end)
9. $750 Billion Dollar Buyout = Nick Saban (This has nothing to do with our country's economic problems and everything to do with a diobolical plot to get Nick Saban off the Alabama sideline)
10. Brokers = Touts (don't need some dumbass to lose my money for me, i'll bet on UCLA for that)
11. ARM Mortgages = Tennessee (When you sign up for both you think you hit pay dirt, but in reality you have sold your soul to he devil; then you get hammered for a year and eventually lose your shirt while a fat guy sits in his office crushing krispy kreme's and orange juice)
12. Interest Rates = Rutger's Football (Keep Choppin' away, and eventually you will turn it around....in 2034)
13. The American Public = Alabama Football (Rolling up the sleeves, grinding it out, getting it done the hard way. Led by the power of god....errr..Nick Saban...and in the end when it's all said and done....will get screwed all the way around by the powers to be)
I'm Out.....
Da GOAT....GOD BLESS AMERICA
1. Fannie Mae = UGA (Both sucked to begin with and WAY overated)
2. Freddie MAC = USC (Stated as the greatest thing since sliced bread...ended up in the crapper)
3. President Bush = Dave Wanstead (flashes of brilliance, but in the end, deer in the headlights)
4. Barack Obama = Tyrone Willingham (has a great plan but a grease fire and a loss is inevitable)
5. Sarah Palin = Erin Andrews (Dumb as hell, but EASY on the eyes)
6. Joe Bidin = Bobby Petrino (As full of shit as a Christmas turkey)
7. John McCain = Joe Paterno (Both grew up with Moses, both will die in Office)
8. Wallstreet = BCS (A disaster, flirting with collapse, one wrong move and we're all screwed, both will need to be bailed out in the end)
9. $750 Billion Dollar Buyout = Nick Saban (This has nothing to do with our country's economic problems and everything to do with a diobolical plot to get Nick Saban off the Alabama sideline)
10. Brokers = Touts (don't need some dumbass to lose my money for me, i'll bet on UCLA for that)
11. ARM Mortgages = Tennessee (When you sign up for both you think you hit pay dirt, but in reality you have sold your soul to he devil; then you get hammered for a year and eventually lose your shirt while a fat guy sits in his office crushing krispy kreme's and orange juice)
12. Interest Rates = Rutger's Football (Keep Choppin' away, and eventually you will turn it around....in 2034)
13. The American Public = Alabama Football (Rolling up the sleeves, grinding it out, getting it done the hard way. Led by the power of god....errr..Nick Saban...and in the end when it's all said and done....will get screwed all the way around by the powers to be)
I'm Out.....
Da GOAT....GOD BLESS AMERICA
On Thursday Night Football
2-0 last night, 18-4 run...looking NICE this evening....
Oregon St. +12
Pitt +13.5
(6 point Tease)
Pitt + 19.5
Oregon St. +18
UAB +9
Locking in:
Vandy +4.5
More to come on Friday for Saturday, GL to all....
Da GOAT
Oregon St. +12
Pitt +13.5
(6 point Tease)
Pitt + 19.5
Oregon St. +18
UAB +9
Locking in:
Vandy +4.5
More to come on Friday for Saturday, GL to all....
Da GOAT
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Nick Saban
Dear Nick,
You're worth every penny, don't f*ck it up.....
Signed,
The Entire state of Alabama
You're worth every penny, don't f*ck it up.....
Signed,
The Entire state of Alabama
Wednesday Night Smurf Turf
Gotta Love Boise St. on the Smurf turf tonight...
Boise St. -11 Under 71.5 (Tease)
LA Tech +39 Under 71.5 (Tease)
GL this evening...more to come!
Da GOAT
Boise St. -11 Under 71.5 (Tease)
LA Tech +39 Under 71.5 (Tease)
GL this evening...more to come!
Da GOAT
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