The National "Touch" Football League

GOAT Faithful,
As promised, today I will be touching on what’s going on in the NFL. Here is my assessment of the first couple of weeks of NFL football.

1. NE - Tom Brady, step it up and quit worrying about your knee. I need you to carry my fantasy team and right now, you’re no better than Kerry Collins and your killing me. Hitting is part of football and somewhere during the recovery process, you forgot that.

2. Browns – Holy Horse Crap ya’ll are bad! What a debacle of a football team. No QB, No RB, and a WR that likes to pick “Bar Fights” with 5’0 guys. I will be dropping you Mr. Edwards from my fantasy team because you’re a “Gutterball”, and I guess you might as well pick bar fights, because you’re “HANDS” are not good for anything else, much less catching a football.

3. Redskins – Dan, you paid WAY too much for “Albert Haynesworst” and not enough for Jay Cutler. This team is worst then bad, it’s “North Texas” bad. Campbell couldn’t win a fight with against a man with NO ARMS, and Portis has nothing to work with. The offense is horrible and the defense is not very good. This team does fit the city it’s in…”turmoil at every position; and spending WAY too much money and getting NO RESULTS”

4. Saints – High flying and fun to watch. Good team, needs more defense, could make the playoff’s and do well.

5. Jets – Rex Ryan “talks the talk”, and thus far has “walked the walk” win a big win against NE. Mark Sanchez has done really well this year and is maturing before our very eyes. If he can do just enough to win and keep from trying to do too much, then the defense has a chance to carry this team into the play offs.

6. Baltimore – LOTS - O –TALENT, and Flacco is the real deal in his second year at the QB spot. “Whatchu talk’n bout” Willis McGahee has been a huge help to my fantasy team and a huge player in Baltimore. Couple with the best NFL defense, this is a team, that if it can get past NE and the Steelers in the playoff, may be good enough to get rings this year. Oh, and a COVERING MACHINE thus far(Until NE this week, but I’m not mad)

7. San Fran. – Mike Singletary has found it in SF this year and his players are buying into it. Hard nose defense and an efficient offense have this team looking really good early on. A tough road will tell if this team can get to the playoffs. The loss of Frank Gore may hurt if Glenn Coffee cannot pick up the slack. Every week this team is in a position to win and had it not been for MIRACLEFARVE then they would be undefeated at this point.

8. Dallas – Good Damn Jesus….Did you just lose to Denver?!?!? You got a 750 million dollar scoreboard that keeps getting LIT UP by the OTHER TEAMS! Wade Phillips is an “Oil Rig Fire” and Tony Homo is “Speed Boat Wreck”. You got rid of T.O. too help you solve your problems, which gave you a whole new set of problems….you got rid of TD! You looked good the first couple of weeks against the “Bottom feeders of the NFL” but then the NY football tackle GIANTS brought you back down to Earth. HOMO+PHILLIPS+JONES+NO TO=”SHORT BUS FIRE”

9. Philly – Put VICK in…RIGHT NOW

10. Detroit – Congrats on winning your first game in 2 yrs! You beat the “Deadskins”. 1-15 is not 0-16! Champagne everyone and let’s quit now!

11. Vikings – All hail BRETT FARVE!!! This guy is unreal, I mean he’s getting AARP mail, yet is 26-5 in his last 31 games with a good rocket. He has plenty of zip on the ball and has not shown any signs of “IMPLODING” to date. Adrian Peterson is a little upset with lack of carries, but with sacrifice comes rewards. Farve is worth every penny to date and know has beaten every team in the NFL, including the Packers last night. This is a Super Bowl team with a balanced attack and good defense. It’s going to be interesting to see how this team reacts after a loss.

12. Chicago – Hello Mr. Cutler, welcome home! Remember, this is a “Blue Collar” town that doesn’t want to hear you’re whining, so keep lighting it up and you will be just fine. Love to see Cutler doing well here, like the new Cutler, not the old one!

13. St. Louis – Good Grief…”Greatest Show on Turf” has turned into the “Greatest loss of Self-Worth” or “Greatest curse on Turf” take your pick….

14. Indy – PEYTON MANNING

15. The Damn Carolina Panthers – Although the Carolina Panthers had a NON- LOSS this week due to having a “BYE”, Jake Delhomme still had it rough. Delhomme threw 4 picks, 2 pick “6’s”, had a fumble loss and was sacked 8 times while playing QB in a “Special Olympics” sponsored Quadriplegic wheelchair pick up football game on Sunday. He was benched at the half...


This is all I have for now on the NFL, there is a lot to touch on, but I haven’t the time at the moment. More to follow tomorrow! Enjoy!

Da GOAT