Mid Season Report Cards

GOAT faithful,

Good evening, sorry I haven't been on top of my game with my posting, but I am back and hopefully will be filling you with more BS then you can handle! First and foremost, we had a great weekend with 5-1 on teaser and straight plays, looking to build on a running 13-4 record overall in the past three weeks. It appears that we did also improve on the "Buddy D" picks going 10-5, some of which I just blew it on and MIZZOU screwed us.

I believe it is time to hand out our Mid-season report cards, as it is a GOAT tradition, so lets see how every one shapes up and who is making the grade, so to speak.

1. Bama

Offense: B+
Balanced attacked, McElroy is efficient and workman like. Like to see Jones more involved. Running game is stout
Defense: A+
Hands down best in the country, No argument
Special Teams: B+
Only a B+ because Arenas hasn't HOUSED one yet....stay tuned
Coaching: A+ (The second coming of Jesus Christ...I took photo's of Saban at UK, there were angels surrounding him)

2. Florida

Offense: B+
Timmy TeBop is doing well, not spectacular, but he doesn't lose, whats not to like
Defense: A-
Big D, Needs to create more turnovers
Special Teams: B
Coaching: A+

3. USC

Offense: B
Freshman QB is good, and test against ND will tell the tale, lots of play makers around him, need to get it really rolling.
Defense: B-
You lost to Washington...enough said
Special Teams: B
Coaching: A-
You lost to Washington Pete?!?! Preparation falls back on you...

4. Ohio State

Offense: F-
Horrible, atrocious and just plain bad....Terrel Pryor has digressed, and now there starting RB is out...Run Jimmy...Run NOW
Defense: C-
Keeps them is ball games
Special Teams: B
Punting game gets lots of work
Coaching: F
You got an F Jim because your not smart enough to get out

5. VT

Offense: B
Taylor is learning to read defenses and is playing well, the running game is working.
Defense: A
BUD DAMN FOSTER
Special Teams: A
BEAMER BALL
Coaching: B+

6. G-Tech

Offense: B+
Left, Right, Left, Right, Up, Down, Up, Down, B, A, Select, Start...SCORPION WINS! Just Like Mortal Combat...Confusing as hell, but when you get it right, it looks really cool..
Defense: F-
Good Grief, glad you can score more then other people, cause you damn sure can't stop anyone...Less confusing shit on offense, more confusing shit on defense, it really that simple!
Special Teams: B
Coaching: A+
Only a smart cracker can get this garbage right..

7. Iowa

Offense: B
Ricky is efficient, running game is decent..Coach may have something..
Defense: A+
Holy crap, I have never seen a better Defense that creates turnovers like these dudes
Special Teams: No Idea, so a C should be good here
Coaching: B+

8. FSU

Offense: C+
Lots of offense..and drop passes.
Defense: WORST IN THE COUNTRY
Don't fire Bobby, fire Mickey, that bastard is delusional.."Fastest D ever" my ass
Special Teams: D-
NO HOPE
Coaching: C
Bobby, you stay as long as you like..I'm moving on...But you just stay right there..

9. Texas

Offense: D
Where in the hell is the Offense Mack?!?! Jordan Shipley is great, but a double team will change that, and you can't run the ball worth a crap. Red River "Shoot Out" may turn into the Red River "change the channel - Out"..
Defense: B+
Lots of play makers, ball hawks all over the place, keeping you in the ball game
Special Teams: A
JORDAN SHIPLEY...everyone else can sit down
Coaching: A
Mack is Money

10. MEEEECHIGAN

Offense: B+
Love Forcier and "Shoe Lace" Denard Robinson. This offense is really good, but dang if they don't turn the dang ball over. If they don't turn the ball over 5 times, they beat Iowa outright.
Defense: B
Good defense, keeps them in ball game. Got play makers and can create turn overs.
Special Teams: A
Coaching: B
RICHROD hasn't taught the kids to protect the ball, starts with the coaching.

11. The "FLAMING" Illinois Illini

Offense: F "COUCH FIRE"
Juice to the bench?!!? Good Grief Zooker...you're embarrassing yourself and you coach in the BIG 10?!?! How the hell do you do that?
Defense: F "TIRE FIRE"
I stopped more offense then you did on Saturday...and I'M ON A BYE WEEK!
Special Teams: F "DUMPSTER FIRE"
More Like "Special Olympics Team"
Coaching: Z "OIL RIG FIRE"
Z is the last letter in the alphabet and you're the only dumbass that could get a Z grade

12. I can't believe I'm actually sitting here watching Arkansas St. vs. UL-Monroe

13. Oregon

Offense: A
Minus Lagarrattee Blount you look pretty good and Blount is coming back..watch out
Defense: B
Still play PAC-10 defense
Special Teams: B
Coaching: A
This guy could lose every game and still get an A in my book, thanks to his "Check" ordeal

14: Notre Dame

Offense: B+
Good Offense with Clausen throwing it all over the place, running game is a lot better this year.
Defense: F
Concentrate Charlie…Concentrate! This were you’re getting KILLED. This is missing from your attack! You don’t have a defense, but I guess I get you’re philosophy…score more then the other team!
Special Teams: B
Coaching: C-
“Car Wreck Charlie” thank God for TOUCHDOWN JESUS!

15. Miami

Offense: A-
Jacory Harris is a man, and the running game is stout and relieves pressure off of Harris. This is a quietly good team…
Defense: B+
Gets the job done..Not THE U of old but getting pretty close
Special Teams: B
Coaching: A+
Randy Shannon has it figured out and has his kids buying into his program. He has surrounded himself with great people and his recruiting is tops in the country. Remember this team is still VERY YOUNG…

This is all I have for tonight…more to follow tomorrow evening!

Enjoy,
Da GOAT